Wide coverage

What network are you really looking for that you have decided to let those wild pairs roam indiscriminately around without caution? Is this a wardrobe malfunction or just deliberate? Big sis, we don’t just understand why you are wearing such dress that is barely covering your nipples. You are to pay N5 million after which you will remain in our custody.

Not working

We hate to say this. But, must you wear that dress when you know so well that your skin is so busy with so many rashes? Why should you do this to us? Have you forgotten section 23 of the Epidermis edict? You should know better than flaunting your over-embellished skin in a public place. For your punishment, you will be referred to the skin section at LUTH for adequate care and an additional fine of
N500,000. I RISE!

Cleavage nightmare!

Where do we start from exactly? Your total appearance just looks ridiculous and our conclusion is that you are trying too hard. Girlfriend, you made our jury so sick that we all had to go on an urgent recess. Well, our verdict is simple: you are to remain in our custody until you meet the bail condition of N5 million, and get three religious leaders as sureties, preferably from the three major religions, which include Christian, Moslem and traditional leaders.

Sour

This is definitely a mistake with the capital M. You are accused of over-exposure of cleavage in a public place. We are vexed in the spirit and you have been mandated to stay under lock and key for the next six months under the watchful eyes of the sisters at St. Mary’s Convent, who would tutor you on descent dressing.

Sham!

You have been found guilty of reckless flaunting of your mammary glands in a public place. However, you are to pay a fine of N1 million only.

Serial boobist

Madam, what is your obsession with flaunting what you don’t have? Moreover, your dress is so classless and poorly proportioned that we have been left with no choice but to pronounce you guilty. You have been fined N1.5 million.