Open-and -close

Since we caught a glimpse of you in the witness box, we’ve been in pain. We have tried all kinds of painkillers, but this exhibit here is beyond them. Big sis, is it not enough that we are almost seeing your Victoria Secrets and you even went on to bare your cleavage? And then there was the overgrown weeds on your laps. Please, if you must do this next time, get waxed and toned. For taking us through
this nightmare you have been fined N2.5million.

Milked dry

What is the essence of flaunting this clevage when you knew that it has little or no shelf life? With such products on display, don’t you think that consumers are at great risk? You would be granted bail in the sum of N1million , but you are to report with your NAFDAC papers and SON certificate at the next hearing.

Caught in the act

Madam, you were nabbed by our fashion police on the 13th of August wearing a revealing dress and information reaching us showed that you got all the men drooling in this outfit. We hereby order Gov. Oshiomhole’s tailor and Lagbaja’s costumier to head the panel that would henceforth make your outfit. But before then, pay a fine of N1million.

‘Young-shall-grow things’

What really beats our imagination is that you have a pretty face and we wonder why you need to dress in this manner. For crying out loud your tits are hysterical and outrageously out of control in this your cleavage baring dress. Girlfriend, produce a bail bond of N1.5million.

Dangerous weapon

What fashion statement are you making with those two moulds out like that? We hereby hand you over to the chief of Army staff, who will deal with you accordingly and in addition to this you are to pay a fine of N1million.