When I talk about self-esteem, I talk about a feeling of being happy with yourself, your ability and your character. A lot of people have lost so many things in life; so many opportunities have slipped away from so many people due to low self esteem. People have lost relationships they cherished so much because of this same problem. It is a very big disease that has kept a lot of people down.

I encourage people to pray. I believe in the power of prayer because we cannot make it in this wicked world without God. But there are situations and problems we go through and daily we run to prayer contractors for solutions without recognising the need for a change in our way of life. It is very sad we have succeeded in spiritualising everything. Folks, there are things God can do for us, but there are also those we must handle ourselves because He has given us the ability to control certain things.

We keep wondering so many times why people graduate with good grades and are not able to secure any good job that befits their qualification. I used to, like so many people, conclude it’s all about girls selling out their bodies. But my thinking has changed in my course of relating with people and speaking at conferences and seminars.

So many good and hard-working ladies are all over the place feeling so sad and passing blames on people for their misfortunes. Girl, you are your own enemy. You have concluded it is because of your social status and look. No woman on earth is ugly. We are all beautiful. It is left for you to enhance your beauty and make yourself attractive to people.

You have a job interview or a business meeting and you make no preparation for it. Your hair is not well taken care of. Your suit is not properly ironed. Some don’t even consider their body type before buying clothes. You dress anyhow, you walk anyhow. You don’t even know what voice management is. Haven’t you seen a lot of those very ugly women, as we call them, in positions of authority? It is your carriage that is dealing with you.

You keep disturbing your pastor and Imam for prayers. Please give them some rest and time to attend to other people. After all the prayers and the interview date comes, what do you make out of it? You can’t even face the interviewers. You made first class in school and so what? If you keep relying on that good grade and numerous educational qualifications, you will remain the way you are until you make the necessary changes.

Stop blaming your ordeal on the witches in your village. Step up girl, and make things happen in your life. They say I don’t fear anybody, yes, I like myself that way. I don’t believe there is anyone better than Amarachi. I have a very high self-esteem. I can enter any place and come out with results. It all has to do with your carriage and presentation.

Some of us cannot even look at the faces of people when we want to say hello. You have to train yourself to be able to relate with people you meet. People keep wondering how I get to meet the kind of friends I have. There is no magic to it. If you have a very high self esteem, If you present yourself a polished and civilized person with God’s favour, people will continually get attracted to you.

You may be saying it is because you tie your hair regularly. Wake up girl, there are so many people out there in management positions who cover their hair just like you. The only difference is that theirs are neatly done unlike yours that come with a foul smell. They still look sweet and approachable.

Let us look at the area of our relationships. I will start with the girl-girl relationship. Low self-esteem has led to a lot of evil in our relationship with other women. It is low self-esteem that can make you begin to plan evil against someone you call a friend. Women have destroyed other people’s homes because of low self esteem that often times lead to jealousy.

I keep wondering what on earth will make a matured woman begin to envy another. When are the women going to grow up to start facing their own lives and mind their own business? Small minds discuss people, great minds discuss issues. That you find yourself in gossip is because you have a very low self esteem. You don’t talk about people who are under you, you only talk about that other woman because she is greater than you.

Women have left friends who God brought into their lives to help them become better due to low self esteem. You attend parties together and because she comes out best dressed, you see yourself avoiding her. You know that other woman is more intelligent when it comes to handling certain issues, instead of you humbly learning from her, you take a walk. Well, you are the one losing.

I marvel when I see women creating time to go through their man’s phone. I don’t know why you do that, but I don’t think I want to hasten my death. Why make yourself go through unnecessary emotional torture? It is low self esteem that makes you want to know all the people your husband talked to during the day.

Some women stoop as low as calling their husband’s girlfriend on phone and engaging in exchange of words. Remember that lady has nothing at stake. I have never in my life confronted any lady because of a man. I see it as bringing myself down to the level of the person. If you are one of such people, all I can say is that you look for a job to get you busy. You are jobless and that is making you do certain things you shouldn’t be doing.

Some shameless women go down to the level of fighting other women because of their husbands. You may think you are disgracing the lady, but in the actual sense, you are destroying the reputation of your man. I remember a family friend who got news about the husband’s affair with another lady. She went to his office to fight the lady.

The husband entered there and saw her fighting his girlfriend. The man gave her the beating of her life. She lost her four months pregnancy with the beating. On getting home that evening, the man threw her out of the house and got married to his girlfriend. I keep telling people to be careful with their relationship so as not to lose that thing they cherish so much. People have lost what they so much cherish and tried so hard to protect all because they had no control over their emotions.

If you believe you are good enough to that man, you won’t bother yourself so much about his life. All you owe him is prayer. Some women don’t want to see their man laugh with another woman. What is your problem? It’s like I know what your problem is; you got that man through some crooked means. You played some games before settling down with him at last. You took other people’s husbands away from them as a young girl. Now you are putting the man through hell because you have to go on fighting to keep him.

Girl, you need to grow up. Work on your self-esteem and stop making life miserable for the poor man. You may have to change your friends before you can work on your self-esteem. Changing your friends has nothing to do with how rich or poor they are. So many rich ones still suffer from this terrible disease called low self-esteem. Start mixing up with people who discuss positively when you are in their company.

Low self-esteem is what pushed you into belonging to that particular group that is doing nothing to build your life the positive way. Women are all over the place looking for friends. Low self-esteem has made you believe you cannot exist with those friends.

A lot of people are into relationships that are destroying their lives negatively. A lot of young girls are into relationships with men who have no regard for them. They treat you so bad even before marriage and you are afraid to take a walk out of that relationship. Your mind keeps telling you there is no good life for you without him. You have lost your individuality and now live under his shadow.

You can make it without anybody. Nobody is your God in this life. Believe strongly in yourself. Even if you have failed severally, it doesn’t matter. It is not in the number of times you failed; it is in your ability to bounce back after the failure. Never allow anybody treat you as a second class citizen.

Are you a widow, divorcee, or never married. If you are not careful people will make you begin to see yourself a total failure. The loss of a partner does not mean the end of your life. It is just the beginning of a new phase of life for you. Your school mates are all top executives in oil and gas companies, so what? Whenever you wake up is your own morning. Please make today your morning and get into the fight for survival.

BUILD YOUR SELF-ESTEEM.