Overdone

Big sis, you cannot have y our cake and eat it. We understand that you are trying to play safe. Even though the length of the skirt is okay, we think the hose is unnecessary. Also, you flouted Section 23 of the Pearls Edict by piling it inside a dress with collars. With this dress you don’t need the pearls. So, you will pay a fine of N1.5 million

Overwhelming

My jury couldn’t help weeping when they caught a glimpse of this evidence. Do you know why? Well, it was because your display was so overwhelming that they were lost for words. For making the lives of our jury miserable, we hereby impose a fine of N2 million on you.

General overhaul

Honestly, we got so confused that we didn’t know what to focus on. Could it be the jewelry, the necklace, the studded jacket or the tits? This is contrary to Section 243 of the Style Code. Therefore, you are fined N2.5 millon.

Too wrong

Girlfriend, this is not pants and cannot be worn like one. You should have worn something longer to cover your butts. It is stated clearly in law that ignorance is no excuse. Therefore, you are banned from wearing leggings or jeggins until further notice. In addition, you are fined N500,000.

Chameleonic

My jury could hardly place your skin colour when you were brought into the witness box. Some argued that it was pink; another said it was purple, while others went for red. Then, we had to call in a dermatologist, who gave us evidence that you have been tampering with your skin. And this is contrary to Section 12a of the Skin Code. Also, your kegs display is offensive. With all the authority vested in this Court of Fashion, you are fined N3 million.

Exposé

We just can’t understand why you had to expose your body like this. Section 237 subsection 24c of the Moral Code states that you must dress the way you want to be addressed. We hereby order that you be locked up for the next six months at St. Mary’s Convent under the strict supervision of a Nun. You are to take special courses in decent dressing. No option of fine, please.