After a long wait and search, I recently met a man I am interested in enough to contemplate marriage with. Although he isn’t my ideal man, I have grown over the years to be able to look beyond the physical appearance of a man to what he is inside.
Honestly, in times past, I wouldn’t be caught dead with this man, let alone consider him as a husband, but like I said, a lot has happened to me. At 33, age isn’t exactly on my side and with majority of my friends already married I have been forced to re-arrange my priorities, with being finicky about the physical presentation of a man being the least.
I have outgrown the age of illusion, and had transited to the age of reality; which is why his insistence that I get pregnant before we fix a wedding date is driving the daggers into my heart. I have known him for only six months, and right from the beginning he hasn’t hidden his desire to have me permanently in his life considering that he too has stayed on the shelf for too long. He is in his early 40s.
I have tried to argue the point with him, but he insists he cannot afford the mistake of marrying without the woman first getting pregnant.
When I tell him about love, his declaration is that certain things are inexplicable, and that his desire for me to get pregnant has nothing to do with his feelings for me.
Agatha, having waited this long, I feel I deserve love. I can’t help this feeling that he isn’t really interested in me for myself, but only sees me as an appropriate woman to bear his children.
I am so confused. Some of my friends say there is nothing wrong in what he is asking of me, while others think it is wrong. Deep down, I don’t feel it is right too. I have never, ever planned to become pregnant before marriage.
What do I do? He wants us to get married as soon as I get pregnant. He is making me feel deep inside me that given my age, I don’t have a lot of choices, hence, must do as he says, what choices do I have at 33? Wouldn’t it be simpler to give in to his demands and get on with our married life?
