I got married nearly 10 years ago. Unfortunately, I can’t claim my marriage is a happy one. I met my husband through a friend of his who lives abroad like me. My husband joined us later.

But for the grace of God, I would have left him within three months of him joining me here. Not long after we got married, I realised that my husband was no better than a 16-year-old boy. I had to practically play the role of a mother to him.

I also discovered he had lied about his age. When we met, he told me he was a year older than I am but found out when he was filling his segment of our marriage form at the registry that we were one month apart in age.

I was a bit angry at first but decided age had nothing to do with love. I had to force him to get a job and completely refused to further his education, which would have helped his prospects here. I noticed he was always showing attributes of someone living somebody else’s life.
Out of worry, I have severally called his parents separately to report the things I noticed in him to them but none of them in all these years seem to bother. His mother is always blaming it on laziness on the part of my husband. Even though I knew something was very wrong somewhere, I just didn’t know what it was but I just knew it was more of a spiritual problem.

Having lived with him for close to 10 years, I knew it wasn’t normal for a man to lack the will to do anything or have a plan for his family. We are both close to 40 years of age and I know for sure that he doesn’t drink excessively or cheat on me; but we are always fighting and don’t agree on any matter. This became more pronounced after our third child, which turned out to be a blessing for me.

Since marrying him, I have never enjoyed this marriage. Even when I am heavily pregnant, I still have to work otherwise the family would suffer from lack.

Initially, I thought his parents were the kind that simply do not care until I began to go into inexplicable debts. It was becoming too much for me and since I could not bear the burden of the whole situation any longer, a friend of mine then advised that I seek spiritual help. The woman of God I went to said I should go into three days fasting with prayers. I decided to add vigil and some deliverance psalms.

At the end of the exercise, I got some shocking revelations, which over 10 men of God in different locations gave the same meaning. My in-laws were responsible for my husband’s predicament. Being their first born, they had each traded with his star. His mother was said to have done it first while his father followed later.

They had also taken steps to make him unable to act even if he finds out the truth concerning what they had done. I was very pained in my spirit because I have done everything to please my husband and his family. Now passion runs deep. I developed a deep hatred for them and I am currently taking the prayers of these men of God to make my heart thaw towards him and even talk to him.

To say my parents-in-law disappointed me is putting the issue mildly. It is like a scene off the many Nigerian movies I have watched. My husband also eventually did his own investigation and found out that what I told him about his parents was the truth even though sometimes he doubts the ability of his parents to go that far.

I feel for him and myself because they have managed to drag us back from where we ought to be but I know now that God is in control because we are now very prayerful.

I don’t want to have anything to do with them again. What do you think I should do regarding this situation? They live in Nigeria and we live abroad. I am too saddened by this.

Concerned Woman.