I am have been married to my very loyal and loving wife for fifteen years. I am very much in a state of emotional turmoil because I betrayed my wife and put my wife through a terrible heartache because of my philandering.

I cheated on her with my personal assistant (PA). My wife was devastated, heartbroken and depressed when she discovered my betrayal and wanted to end our marriage. However, her family prevailed on her to try to forgive my betrayal and work things out because of our three children who ages range from 7 to 12.

I decided to turn a new leaf and work on my marriage. I ended the affair my PA and arranged to have her transferred to another division of the company, which is on the other side of town. However, my PA is refusing to let sleeping dogs lie and let me be. She keeps calling me when I am at home and this upsets my wife no end. I have considered changing my number but I have had my number since the inception of the GSM in Nigeria and that is the number everyone I know practically has. I barred her number from my phone and she switched to calling my wife telling her that we are still seeing each other and that I can’t do without her.

I have told my ex to stop hounding my family and me and leave us alone to get on with our lives while she gets on with hers. I honestly regret my involvement with this girl and have come to realise how much I love and value my wife and family.

I am fed up with my ex’s harassment and just want her out of my life. Dorothy, please advise me, I am beside myself with this turmoil in my life.

My Dear,

Most people don’t value what they have till they are about to lose it. You made a mistake and have decided to make amends but your ex won’t let sleeping dogs lie. Some women don’t know when to give up and move on when an affair comes to an end. This is rather unfortunate as they go on to be a nuisance to their ex and sometimes the ex’s loved ones.

I will advise you to call your ex to order by asking her to meet with you in an open environment where you make it very clear to her that your affair with her is over and done with and that you want to be left in peace. Make her understand that you did have feelings for her while the affair lasted but that as a married man you have come to a decision to live honestly with your wife and family. Hopefully, she may come to realise that you mean what you say. If she is still obstinate I think you may have no other option than to get a court order to bind her over and keep her from harassing you and your family.

Good luck