Scanty

Section 23 subsection 4a of the Mini Edict states clearly that, “some trends are not meant for all age bracket”. But, madam, you just flouted this section because you are not dressing your age. Is that a top or a dress? At least, you should have worn something underneath. We are so angry. Therefore, you are banned from appearing in any public function until further notice. That dress should be drowned in faraway River Niger. And you are fined N2 million.

Contraband on display

Flaunting your bra straps like a channel handbag is illegal in this style jurisdiction. We hereby summon the head of the okrika section in Alaba International Market to appear at the next hearing. We need to ask if there was scarcity of strapless solutions in the market. But before then, you are to pay N900,000.

Not right

Aunty, is the dress wearing? In fact, one of my jury thinks you have electric cables hanging loosely on your neck. All evidence in this court of law shows that this dress is actually wearing. Or should we just say that you didn’t pick the right measurement. This is not tidy and it is contrary to section 104 subsections 234 of the spaghetti trend. You have been fined N1 million.

Showroom

No matter how you are attracted to a trend, you should always think of the moral code. For crying out loud, this is offensive – showing off every detail of your body parts in a public place. We just need the National Assembly to pass a bill that would ensure little or no bride price for every woman that throws moral to the bin. You are hereby sentenced to 500 days at Kirikiri Medium Prison. No option of fine

Comic relief

I Go Dye, when you walked into the courtroom, we couldn’t all stop reeling with laughter. Although we know you are not a fantastic dresser, but you need to adhere strictly to red carpet rules. Our advice from Fashion Court is that you should take some lessons from Tejubaby Face, Ay and Ali Baba. In addition you should pay a fine of N500,000..

All bright

Shine, shine mama! That best describes this look, we understand you are trying to combine and match your attire. But with a fabric like this, we think all the design is too busy. The glittering turban and ipele made my jury cringe with fear because of the after-effects. Well, your lawyer pleaded for leniency, and since you are a first time offender you will be fined N200,000. But we need your designer to attend special lectures on fabric combination and design.e