To let

Girlfriend, you got us all traumatized when we saw your cleavage.
We would have preferred to stay glued to that necklace, but you ruined it with your overzealousness. There is nothing really stylish about this. We would rather say it’s cheap. Pay a fine of N1.5 million.

Exhibit

With this exhibit, you have suddenly taken tacky to another level. That bra expo is whacky and we won’t look the other way because you simply want to amend the mono-strap constitution to suit yourself. You have been fined N1.3 million.

Chunky, choking necklace

Mummy, this is pathetic and we are all feeling so sorry for you, because we know the pains you are going through right now. We are sure this is debris from a train wreck and it’s a big display of an exhibit. We know it’s not your fault. But we will make your yoke lighter mummy, and with all authority vested in this court, we hereby refer you to the steel rolling mill at Osogbo. You are required to stay there for six months and help in lifting rods.

Got it wrong!

Fat legs, flabby laps and uneven knee-caps don’t mix when you are wearing a mini dress. Moreover, we are sure your tailor had to stitch you into that dress, because it’s too tight. And your hair? That’s a topic for another day. For making our lives miserable, pay N1 million only

Bail denied

You have just flouted section 352 subsection 23 of the cleavage constitution. Madam, your style is sheer nakedness.
What sort of fashion statement are you making by pulling down your dress to show off your breasts and bra? Your offence is not bailable, so you will have to remain in our custody until further notice. But while you are with us, you are to take special courses in decent dressing.

Tits misconduct

You were caught during our routine cleavage check and you have been accused of gross misconduct of “cleavaging” in public place. For flagrantly flouting the law, pay N1million only