IT is important to tread carefully in order not to destroy your relationship. Sometimes, however, it may become absolutely necessary to take the bull by the horns to keep what you have. It becomes important that you rush head in, especially when you think that you have invested enough to assure a rosy future together but your partner refuses to move things to the appropriate level. Admittedly, taking a risk in a relationship can be costly both in terms of your happiness and the likelihood that two of you can be hurt. But if you have got to the stage where you know that two of you can live together forever and be happy, go ahead and play these little games. They are risks. Sure. But risks can help your love life because they can help you avoid stagnation. Risk encourages intimacy and they can make you communicate to your partner what you find disagreeable in your life. Relationship in itself is a risk because you are moving together with somebody you are not sure will guarantee your happiness. Go on:
Propose Marriage To Him
Traditionally, the man is supposed to take you to one exciting place and then from out of the blues, he goes down on one knee and asks the magic question ‘will you marry me?’. If the relationship has gone on for too long to the consternation of friends and family and you are sure that you want him to be your husband, you may have to be the one to propose. Instead of the gallant way a man would pop the question, look for a fun way to ask him to marry you. If you choose to behave like the man, he could hold it against you in the future by claiming that you were so aggressive, you forced him into marriage. Quietly ask him if he thinks that you would be with him in the future and based on what he replies, ask him if he would marry you. Be serious as you say it.
Going Back To A Man Who Left You.
Going back to him is risky because you may feel resentful and insecure about the past. If you do not refuse to go back to him, you may regret it later because couples who have parted ways in the past have worked through their disagreements and succeeded the second time around.
Knowing that you still want another relationship after what happened could be difficult because of the hurt and anger. Admittedly, his coming back after abandoning you when you are still feeling the pain would only make you feel worse. That is because rejection affects a lover in many ways. First comes the shock, then denial, anger, sadness, yearning and then depression. After the cycle, a rejected one then makes a decision to pick the pieces and move on with life. It is at the stage of denial that a jilted lover would be tempted to take the ex back into her life. If he comes crawling back, ask yourself a few questions before you agree to go through life with him again. For example, ask yourself if the problems that caused the union to fail before had been settled. Has the person who needed to change his ways done so? It could be you who was wrong. If you are not sure within you that it could work this time, ask your friends and family. If you decide that you could go back to him, work out some steps that you think would give the relationship a better footing. Note the issues and discuss them together. Negotiate and work constantly on the main aspect that brought the break up.
If you decide not to go back, take the decision to your advantage. The break-up may have affected your self-confidence and feeling of self-worth, but you can regain yourself by vowing to move on.
Forgiving Unfaithfulness
Adultery brings distrust in a marriage and it is the most reason marriages fail. Forgiveness however depends on the type of a relationship that a couple has. If your better half is one who sins habitually, it is left to you to decide if he is the type of life partner you want. If he falls once in temptation and is sorry for what happened, you can forgive him.
The experience may actually be a lesson which shows you how to make your relationship happier.
Bear in mind however that a spouse who commits adultery once, will probably do so again. Therefore to move on in your relationship, you will have to take note of the period he engaged in the affair. Were you having difficulties at the time? Understanding what happened may help you decide if you should forgive or not. And if you decide to forgive him, do so with your heart, and do not bring it up when you have disagreement. Warn him that you would not tolerate such again. When you decide to continue with a spouse after an adultery, the understanding is that the two of you have agreed to work together for a stronger relationship with both of you ready to give it another chance.
Agreeing To Move With Him
Having to move to another town when the husband goes on transfer has always been a major step for a career woman. When the economy was buoyant, she uprooted her family and moved because jobs were not difficult to come by. But jobs are scarce and relations can put a strain on a family’s purse because the woman may have stopped earning. And when she decides to stay in her job outside her husband’s station, the relationship may be threatened.
There is the story about a woman whose husband was transferred from Abuja to Lagos. She stayed back for three months to enable a smooth transfer to Lagos. In between this time, her husband who took the children with him has taken in another woman into the home and stopped sending the children to school. A tough case, but it happened. So when relocation becomes the alternative, weigh what you will get from moving and discuss it with your spouse.
