Finding out that a former flame is engaged to be married can be bittersweet. Even if you wish them the best, it�s hard not to be a little bummed. Here are five ways to bounce back.
If your Facebook feed is anything like mine, it�s filled with news about friends who have gotten engaged recently. And while those couples are certainly on cloud nine, if you�re the formerly significant other of a newly engaged guy, this revelation can, well, suck. Here�s how to deal.
Don�t beat yourself up for feeling bitter
When you date a guy seriously when you�re in your 20s or 30s the idea of being married to him is going to dance in your head � you may even have come close to getting engaged to each other. So when you learn that he is, in fact, marrying someone else, it�s a weird feeling � even if you�re in a wonderful relationship or are engaged, yourself. It doesn�t mean your current relationship is flawed or you miss your ex. It�s just natural to feel like you�ve been replaced � and it�s rare to be comfortable with that.
Remind yourself why you broke up
Odds are, you�re not actually wishing that you were in his fiancee�s white satin shoes. Still, it helps to think about all the reasons why you�re no longer with your ex. Even if he�s a great guy, he wasn�t great for you. And consider this: It�s pretty darn exciting that you CAN be with the perfect man because you AREN�T engaged to him.
Hide him on Facebook
De-friending him now is not the answer. Keeping him out of your Facebook feed is. You don�t need to see others� well wishes or comments that you might take personally, even if they so weren�t meant as insults (I know I�d feel the sting if I read, “I always knew this gal was the one for you!” from a mutual friend). And remember: out of sight, (mostly) out of mind.
Distract yourself
One of my friends is in this situation, and you know what she�s doing? Planning an awesome girls� vacation. I love this idea. Because of instead of wallowing, she�s showing herself a good time.
And when you�ve become OK with everything �
Wish him well (if he deserves your congrats; if he was a jerk, no need to get in touch). It can be cathartic to talk to the person who made you a little miserable, even though that clearly wasn�t his intention. You don�t need to get dinner or pour out your soul in a three-page handwritten letter, but an e-mail that shows that yeah, you�re cool with his engagement and no, you�re not going to sabotage his wedding (no need to actually say that, of course!), can make you feel better about the state of affairs. It�s a nice reminder of how mature and deserving of your own happiness you are.
